The Beach Week Diaries
by BaddestWolf
Summary: A number of children with ties to the Order of the Phoenix are placed into Snape's custody for safe-keeping. While he's on vacation at his beach house. Short and silly diary entries from each of the characters recount the week. Post OoTP. Re-published.
1. Friday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

OMG! I am SO blown! So, I'm sitting in my kitchen eating grilled cheese with my godson, Draco, when Dumbledore (that old wacko) shows up at my door. He was like, "Sev, we have a problem." And I was like, "uh-oh" and he was like, "I need a place to hide the students that are under the Order's protection." And I was like…"shit". Now I'm stuck with Potter, Granger, Lovegood, Longbottom, and (thank Merlin it's only two) Weasleys. Draco is not amused. _I_ am not amused. At my _**BEACH HOUSE**_ no less! Dumbledore had better be glad he's the one that signs my paycheck…Hold on, be right back- I think Longbottom's attempting to cook something *and I smell fire*! Ok, I'm back. The kitchen is now entirely covered in soot, but Granger put the fire out. Draco's pissed cuz he has to share his room. Sucks for him. DAMMIT! _What_ could they possibly be doing down there? It sounds like they're trying to raise the dead. Nevermind. I don't want to know. Muahaha! Draco turned Harry's hair purple! Sweet, I am SOOOO making him waffles tomorrow. Well, I'm going to go to bed now. GAH-they're driving me insane!

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

Draco Malfoy snores. Loudly. So I'll probably be awake and writing for a while. I'm at Snape's beach house. Yeah, who knew Snape had a beach house? Give me something to completely trash during all night parties…hmmmm….*light bulb*. Anywho, Ginny, Hermione and Luna are downstairs having some sort of glorified gigglefest and raiding the refrigerator. I would deny it in conversation, but me, Ron and Neville attempted a friendly game of truth or dare. Unfortunately, we woke up Draco (I guess he was in some_ serious _need of beauty sleep) and he turned my hair purple. Prick. I can't believe Dumbledore's making us stay here. Maybe he really _is_ losing his mind. Can't say I blame him though. Ginny just brought us a bag of marshmallows (don't want to know where from). LMAO! Ron can fit 37 mini marshmallows in his mouth! I can get 22 in, but Neville definitely loses with the sad number of 14. we were gonna start throwing the marshmallows at the portraits in the hall but decided against it because Snape will NOT be a pretty sight to behold at 3 o'clock in the morning shooting curses at us. Hm, *light bulb #2* if I'm keeping a diary while I'm here, I wonder who else is. Maybe little Draco actually has feelings? I believe I'll go find out. Damn. His diary is under his pillow….but I can see it! That leaves hope. I'm scared to get too close to him when he's sleeping, though (I'm afraid I'll have to go get Hermione to change my hair back again). That would kill the tiny bit of pride I have left. Well, it looks like Ron and Neville have hit the sack, so I think it's about time for me to do the same. Nite!

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

We've only been here a few hours and I've already had to reverse 7 charms, put out a fire AND change the color of Harry's hair (it was purple). OMG I never thought I'd say this but Snape's house is so….COOL! Me, Ginny and Luna have taken over the downstairs den and turned it into our own personal clubhouse. I hope Snape doesn't mind the change in décor, though I do think he'll make us take down the pink bows Luna attached to his ceiling fan. I KNOW our game of truth or dare went better than the boys' (but its just funny they were playing at all…hehehe). For my first dare, I had to list 5 things I like about Draco (this took me about an hour). Here's what I came up with:

Green is his best color.

He has good hair.

From what I hear, he makes a mean shrimp alfredo.

He can fly.

He can crash.

Luna says the last one doesn't count, but I disagree. That one's my _favorite._ We are planning on going down to the beach in the morning. Should be fun. Maybe Ginny will get to do her dare *wink wink*. SHUT UP I'm not evil….I just love messing with people. And I bid you adieu, till tomorrow!

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

I hate my life. I want to die I am pissed as shit. Granger _definitely _tried to use my shampoo. _**NOBODY**_ uses my shampoo. That stuff is special-made for MY! PERFECT! HAIR! I hate her. But I hate her little friends more. I've got three girly wizards playing little girly games and waking me up at odd hours of the night with marshmallows. What the hell is that about? Fuck this. I'm sleeping.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

Draco is evil. Snape is evil. I'm at Snape's house. These sentences are not in order. Harry's hair was purple then it wasn't. Hermione made a fort…or clubhouse or something. Marshmallows got thrown. Did I mention I hate Draco? Oh ok then. HATE!

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Beach house.

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Me = at Snape's beach house

Harry's hair = purple

Ginny = good at finding edible sugary entertainment

Marshmallows = TASTY

Time = bedtime

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not keep a diary. I will not kee…..*snore*


	2. Saturday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

I walked into my living room this morning and nearly fainted. It seems Lovegood, Granger and Weasley decided they would decorate my house to resemble a pink and purple wedding cake during the middle of the night. I ended up plucking frilly bows from my fan (and my couch and my table and my doorframes) until at least noon. Needless to say, they are not in my good graces. So, I made them make dinner. Not one of my brightest ideas. I won't be eating spaghetti for another decade. Besides, they didn't get home from their little excursion until after dark. It makes me wonder (more than I would like to, mind you) what it is they were doing. Anywho, all of the little hooligans traipsed off to the beach this morning, so at least they were out of my hair for the majority of the day. I even managed to catch the end of _The Young and the Restless_. That SOOO made my day. I bribed Draco into going with them (he does not approve of my soap operas) but now I owe him chocolate cake. Hmmmmm. Might have to consult the _Food Network_. Aw, crap. I forgot this weekend is "Fish Fillet Fiasco". Not good: I don't think Draco would appreciate flounder in his cake…then again…..assuming I could find a nice trout icing…WHAT AM I THINKING! See, I told you they were screwing with my head! Goodnight!

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

Okay, so I totally love the beach. Like, LOVE! Hermione ran into our room at about 5 o'clock in the morning screaming something about having to get to the beach and stake out spots for the rest of the day. I mean, she literally dragged the three of us out of bed and down the hall. She was in such a frenzy she almost pulled Malfoy along. Lucky she didn't (but it would have been funny). We all changed into swimsuits (thoroughly against our will) and were pushed out the door where Luna and Ginny were waiting. It may have been dawn, but when you get to see stuff like Ginny in a cute purple bikini, it sort of makes you forget you were just yanked out of bed. But, true to form, Ron made her put some pants on till we got there. Such a spoilsport. The girls in general were quite boring most of the morning ("leave us alone we're _sunbathing_" and "if you come one step closer we will shoot you with laser beams from our eyes" type stuff). Ridiculous. Me and Ron and Neville had fun attacking eachother in the water though. Neville even found a little jellyfish (it stung him at least six times) that he named Leroy. Leroy is NOT a happy jellyfish. At around noon, Draco randomly showed up to crash our party. Said Snape made him come. What a load of bull, he knows he loves us! He just sat under his umbrella for a while before coming over to inspect what we were doing. We introduced him to Leroy, who was very….affectionate (poor Malfoy). I think the high point of the entire day was our lovely game of chicken. Neville, being Neville was the ref. Draco, being Draco insisted he play and therefore win. Draco refused to touch Luna (and I wasn't letting him near Ginny), so poor Hermione was forced to endure being on his shoulders the entire game. Ron and Luna actually worked well together, maybe that's why they (technically) won. Draco and Hermione "won" because if they didn't Draco swore the time continuum would have an aneurism. Upon getting back to the house, we found Snape furious with all females. And he forced them to cook dinner. If you ask me, it was more of a punishment for the rest of us. Hermione is good at lots of things…cooking is NOT one of them. I repeat….do not go towards the spaghetti. It will only bring death. Or an acute need to puke. Excuse me while I do so…..NITE!

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

WE WENT TO THE BEACH! YAY! OMG, it was soooooo much fun. I pulled the guys out of bed real early after we were all ready. You should have seen their faces, it was priceless! I finally got a chance to break in my new swimsuit: it's yellow with daisies all over it. Though, I really liked Ginny's which was like a swirly purple and silver. Luna's on the other hand was…interesting. It was baby blue, but covered in an assortment of rainbow zoo animals. The sunbathing went as beautifully as we had planned, save for the minor interruptions of people yelling at someone named Leroy. Draco showed up midday and sat under his little stuffy umbrella, attempting to avoid contact with us (not that we minded in the least). Then of course Ronald Weasley, a self confirmed GIT decided we should play chicken. I, undoubtedly would get stuck with Draco. And we won. Because HE cheated. And I'm beginning to worry about myself a little…I think I liked it (playing chicken, not cheating). But…..ew. Just eeeeeew. Besides, I have no intention of crushing Ron's soul, I'm quite fond of it actually. When we got home…let's just say…wow. Snape was pissed about the bows (sooo def called that one) so he made me, Luna and Ginny cook dinner. It was a DISASTER. Crunchy spaghetti, sauce that was runny and chunky at the same time…let's not even talk about the "garlic bread" (more like garlic bricks). Now, completely assured I will never make a fair housewife, I bid you goodnight.

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

I swear I heard Granger in my room this morning, but when I woke up, there was noone. Not even the people that were _supposed_ to be there. After hijacking some toast, I went down to Snape's Potions lab to see where everybody was. Of course. Beach house. Beach. Sleeping in the same room as Potter is obviously having negative affects on my mental capabilities. Snape bribed me with cake (just…..can't …resist…..) so when it was finally a semi-decent hour I went to find "them" on the beach. They were fairly easy to spot. Potter, Weasley and Longbottom were frickin' FROLICKING in the water, but the girls were just kind of laying around. I agreed more with this philosophy so I set my umbrella a fair distance away and watched the three in the water make fools of themselves. Eventually I got bored and went over to see what was up, but I ended up covered in jellyfish stings. Damn them all. In Ron's first good idea….ever….we decided to play chicken. I got partnered with Granger (who for a Mudblood is not half bad) ….HELL WHAT AM I SAYING! Eh, I'm just happy we won. Fair and square. And a word of caution…NEVER eat a Granger/Weasley/Lovegood-prepared meal. I swear whatever it was they concocted tonight probably made Salazar Slytherin turn in his grave. Potent. But Deadly.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

I have a new pet. Draco likes to sit under umbrellas. I woke up really early this morning and it's all Hermione's fault. Three are no marshmallows left. Phooey! Harry and Ron are friends with Leroy too. Hermione and Ginny and Luna are terrible cooks. I really need to get a handle on these disjointed thoughts. Snape does not like bows. Or girls. I think he's gay. Hmmm. SPAGHETTI OF DOOM!

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Rainbow zoo animal print bikini!

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Me (mad Malfoy had Hermione on his shoulders)

Me (more mad it was my idea)

Beach (good for finding jellyfish)

Neville (good at naming jellyfish)

Hermione (has cool yellow swimsuit)

Snape (in need of anger management)

Girls (not to be messed with while on the beach)

Harry (has a crush on my sister)

Spaghetti (TERRIBLE)

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. I really like the beach. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Snape hates bows. So I think we should put more up tonight. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. I am never cooking are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble.I think I'm in love with Harry. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Diaries are bad. They only cause trouble. Really.


	3. Sunday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

Okay, I'm slightly boosted because I got another whole day to myself. (Remind me to thank my house for being so close to the beach). Granger cam beating at my door at some ungodly hour YET AGAIN, but at least the sun was up this time. I remember hearing something about the boardwalk and a carnival (YUCK!) but I was out again before she could finish talking. So, when I woke up…..FREEDOM! I mean, I seriously had a Mel Gibson moment. I made myself some waffles and went downstairs (thankfully it looked normal today) and caught _Young and the Restless. _THE WHOLE THING, hell yes! After I ate lunch I made Draco that cake that I owe him I even put fudge icing on it for him. It says "Here's your bribe, Draco". I was gonna write Happy Birthday…but that really would have made no sense, so I passed. They got home tonight even later than yesterday and I chose not to question them as to their whereabouts. I really don't want to know. Ever. Also, I thought I should mention….the pizza we ordered tonight was delicious. BYE!

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

We went down to the boardwalk today…and it was AWESOME! Hermione insisted we stop and get fries at the creatively named "Boardwalk Fries" even though it was like 8 in the morning. Definitely worth it. Malfoy got attacked by a flock of seagulls because he accidentally dropped a couple. I sooo wish I had had a camera. Here, Lucius…look at your perfect son NOW! Ha-ha yeah. He had it coming, though. Ron and Neville found a pretty cool arcade, so we lost them for an hour or two as they attempted to blow eachother's brains out on a screen. They never did say who won. They both probably died at the same time. I wouldn't put it past them. We had to stop every five minutes because the girls wanted to look in all the souvenir shops and (cringe) jewelry stores. I think I saw more bracelets, necklaces, rings and anklets in one day than I had seen in my entire life. I swear, Luna, Ginny and Hermione are now all broke because they bought so much stuff. I will admit, I very slyly bought a ring for Ginny (its pretty, it's silver with a blue butterfly on it) but I don't know if I'll ever give it to her. And I could have sworn I saw Draco buy_ something _but I have guesses as to what it is. Once we met up with Ron and Neville we all headed to the little carnival at the end of the pier. There was so much cotton candy… everyone ended up quite sticky. Draco won a teddy bear playing that little game where you have to shoot ducks (figures he'd be good at that). When we rode on the Ferris wheel, we all crammed into one basket thing…not good. Neville was mumbling the whole time and Ron was doing his best to rock everyone silly. We got slightly delayed going home though as we had to stop because Mr. High and Mighty Slytherin felt it was necessary to get a tattoo of a snake winding around his left bicep. Git. Anyways we went home and had pizza and now I'm writing. I'll write more tomorrow, but now I have to go see if I can pilfer Draco's diary to see what it was he bought. Niteynite.

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

WOOT BOARDWALK! I had really forgotten how good Boardwalk Fries were. Awesome. Not to mention they aided in the attack of seagulls that poor Draco had to endure. _Poor Draco_….am I nuts? Ron and Neville went off and played video games (nerds….) so we dragged Harry and Draco to all the best shops. Let me see…I got three necklaces, a t-shirt…and an anklet that I absolutely ADORE! I'd say today was a success. The carnival at the end of the pier may have been my favorite though. We had a war with cotton candy…the girls SO won. There was no contest, the guys were smothered in a matter of minutes….and there's more of them! We played a few games but no one was really in the mood for rides so we went on the Ferris wheel (Ron I will KILL you slowly and painfully if you ever rock the Ferris wheel while I am on it again!) okay…here's something very strange. So, I'm sitting on the Ferris wheel, and I screamed (because Ron's being stupid) and I really thought Draco's arm was going to land on my shoulder….eeeew! Eeew? I'm so confused. AND OMGOMGOMG Draco got a _tattoo._ Despite the fact that it's a snake (what else) it's really really HOT! Okay…I'm going to go bang my head against the wall now. Goodnight.

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

I CANNOT believe that I _voluntarily_ went down to the boardwalk with the all the Golden Gryffindors…..and Lovegood today. What's even worse is that I had an okay time. OMGZ! I'm turning into one of them OH NOEZ! Okay….deep breaths….Right. Me and Harry were forced to accompany the girls to every jewelry store within a mile of the coast…it was quite brutal. But I did have a chance to pick up a necklace for….well it doesn't matter who it's for. I don't even know if I like her. The necklace just reminded me of her. It's a gold crescent moon with silver stars trailing off of it. If you ask me, I have good taste. I almost COMFORTED her when Weasley was rocking the fuckin' Ferris wheel. NOT GOOD! I finally got that tat I'd been looking to get for so long. I really like it. I am _such_ a stud. Snape has good taste too, as his cake was very yummy…and the pizza he ordered (thank Merlin) was not half bad either. Time to sleep and pretend I never bought a necklace for a Mudblood. Oops.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

Galaxy Warriors is the best game ever. I so beat Ron but he won't admit it. I hate cotton candy it sticks everywhere! Pizza is better than spaghetti. I almost puked on a Ferris wheel…totally blaming Ron for that one. Luna got a new bracelet that I liked. Draco got a tattoo. Oh yeah, we went to the boardwalk.

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I gots a new bracelet! It's got shells!

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Boardwalk Fries (where the seagulls hang)

Seagulls (my new favorite animal)

Draco (seagull bait)

Draco (has the hots for Hermione)

Galaxy Warriors (a game I beat Neville at)

Cotton candy (very dangerous)

Ferris wheel (fun to rock)

Tattoo (unfortunately looks good on Draco)

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries.

No diaries. No diaries. Boardwalk, cotton candy, jewelry, Ferris wheel PIZZA! No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries.

No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. No diaries. Ever.


	4. Monday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

I hate rain, possibly more than anything else. Any ideas why? Well, let me tell you! I was stuck with the six brats and Draco the _entire_ day! At least they woke up at a tolerable hour today, but the rest of the day was a NIGHTMARE. It had begun raining torrentially very early, so of course as soon as I was downstairs, I was met by shrill whines and numerous complaints about how they'd have to spend the day inside (and with me). Draco got into a fist fight with Weasley over who would be finishing the Froot Loops. As much as I wanted to sit back and watch, I broke them up and got splattered by the remaining Froot Loop milk. I WAS NOT AMUSED! By noon I had had to reverse nearly a dozen hexes, and that was the easy part. Granger and Lovegood (curse them both!) got the bright idea of _board games._ I had to frickin play _Scrabble_ with them all for like three hours! Some evil Potions master I turned out to be, right? I'm a disgrace…if the Death Eaters could see me now…After our torture-by-board game session was over, Longbottom was graced with a not entirely horrible idea (though sleep would have been preferable): watch a movie. The problem was picking one. _Titanic _won by popular vote (two people actually agreed OMG). Everyone else (including myself) groaned most of the time and got walloped with pillows by Misses Weasley and Granger, who were trying to pay attention. Dinner was even worse than the "spaghetti incident" so I dare not recount it here. Just know that afterward, I sent every last one of them- even Draco- upstairs and put wards on the room to prevent their escape. Hrrrm. Oops. Just remembered the girls were supposed to be sleeping downstairs. Aw, screw it…this way there will be no more pink bows.

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

Dude, I'm soooo pissed it rained today! But, we did get some very good Snape-tormenting in so it was probably worth it. Draco and Ron got into a fight over Froot Loops and wouldn't stop hexing eachother the entire morning. Hermione and Luna made us all play Scrabble (they claimed it would "bring us all together"). Since there are eight of us, we had to play in partners. Me and Ginny lost. Alot, though not as much as Neville and Ron. Hermione and Draco won a few times, but Luna and Snapey were the undisputed champions. I was forced to watch _Titanic._ (IT BURNS!) Correction: it actually sinks, but you know what I meant. I wanted _Back to the Future_, and I even wouldn't have minded _Van Helsing_ (Draco's choice) but NO! We had to watch the _longest_, sappiest chick flick ever made! Oh yeah- about dinner—Snape was about ready to Avada Kedavra every one of us. Someone (I highly suspect it was Ron) switched Draco's apple pie with an exploding tart and before we knew it, the room was covered in apple gook. Draco aimed his steak at Ron's face, but he missed and hit Ginny. As I wasn't going to tolerate that, my mashed potatoes hit him square on the top of his perfect head. A food fight like no other erupted after that. Snape was covered in tapioca before he stood and stunned us all, mid-fight. We've been locked up here ever since. Even the girls—who are at this moment giggling on the bunk bed above Draco. I've decided I don't want to know why. Draco's laying down but he keeps getting up to yell at us to "shut the hell up". Ron is playing wizard chess with Neville (who is taking his horrible losses like a Gryffindor, if I do say so myself). Hmm…I think I'll have another go at getting hold of Draco's diary. Later.

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

It rained the whole day today so we couldn't do anything interesting (or anything to escape Snape). Ron and Draco had a hexing war that started over Froot Loops…why they couldn't share, I have no idea. Scary part was, I really wanted to jump in and help Ron sometimes, but other times I couldn't help but root for Draco. What the hell is wrong with me? What's worse is that he was my partner when we played Scrabble. I blame Ginny, since it was her idea to put all our names in a hat and pick them so the teams were fair. Fair my ass. He kept bumping into me the whole time and I swear he even winked once. CREEPY! There was a massive food fight at dinner (no doubt Ron's fault) and Snape pretty much had a coronary and locked us upstairs. Just about everyone is asleep now except Neville, who seems to be aimlessly pushing chessmen across the board. I can't sleep. My brain is just—BLEH-. Well, I'll try and rest anyway. Goodnight.

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

Rain sucks. I kind of wanted to go to the beach today, but no such luck. This morning, Weasel decided he was going to go for the last of the Froot Loops, so, naturally I felt the need to pulverize him. We hexed eachother silly for most of the day, but I _so_ won. I hate Scrabble, too. Bloody Muggle game. Though it wasn't ALL bad, because it gave me the perfect opportunity to hook the necklace I bought onto the sweater Granger had stuffed into the side of the couch. VERY slick on my part; she'll never know it was me….OH NO….what if she thinks it was Weasley! We decided to watch a movie, but nobody else wanted to watch _Van Helsing_ (WTF?) so I was forced to endure _Titanic._ It was sooooooo long. I thought I would die before it ended. But, eventually, it did, and we had yet another disaster. It was fucking awful…but highly entertaining. Weasley exploded my pie, which was all it took to trigger a SWEET food fight. Snape wasn't as happy about the idea as everyone else, but the look on his face was priceless. Except now I won't EVER be able to sleep because I'm sharing my room with six people, three of whom are giggling above me (and probably about me) at this very moment. So…see ya later.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

It rained. Me and Ron lost seven Scrabble games. I learned "heffalump" is not an actual word. It rained some more. Ron and Draco tried to beat eachother up for the Froot Loops toucan. Ron exploded a pie. It rained some more. Snape got covered in tapioca. I never knew the guy dies at the end of _Titanic_. We're locked in a room upstairs. Draco is still a jerk and I suck at wizard chess.

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Holy crap we're trapped upstairs!

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Draco (is a Froot Loop hoarder)

Harry (still defending Ginny)

Leo (drowns)

Pie (KaBOOM)

Potatoes, tapioca, steak, etc. (can fly)

Rain (Raining)

Neville (shouldn't play chess)

Me (shouldn't play Scrabble)

Heffalump (isn't a word)

Snape (pissed)

Time (to check Neville's king)

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

I hate diaries. But I'm getting better. Um….There was a food fight….and we're locked in a bedroom—HELP! And we played Scrabble and watched _Titanic._ Still hate diaries. I'm going to go before my diary tries to eat me. Aaaah!


	5. Tuesday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

After the horrible rain ordeal yesterday, I'm hella happy to say that the hooligans have once again decided to waste their day at the beach. Quite exciting, if I do say so myself. And I do. There will be some serious soap operas happening. I'm about a week behind on _Days of our Lives_ and nearly two weeks backed up on _General Hospital._ Terrible. That will be remedied by the end of the day, though. Unfortunately, I have the sinking feeling that I may have promised to take my…houseguests…out to dinner tonight. Not sure why I would do such a ridiculous thing, but I fear I'll have a revolt on my hands if I don't comply. I'm thinking Joey's Steak and Seafood Shack. Haven't seen Joey in a while- we'll give him quite the surprise when we show up. Yes, yes, that's exactly what we'll do. Poor Joey's gonna have FUN tonight!

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

We hit the beach again today- thank Merlin it didn't rain again. I'm not sure I could have endured a second day in a row cooped up in close quarters with Snape, and everyone else for that matter. Draco snores. Or maybe it was Luna. Either way, I didn't sleep so well last night. Once everyone was awake and we'd made sure (Hermione triple-checked) that it wasn't going to rain, we all grabbed our gear and jetted for the beach. Ginny decided to make a sandcastle with Hermione at first, but she couldn't resist my utterly charming aura (yeah, I'm just that suave) and eventually came in swimming with me. Draco, Luna, Neville and Ron played a few games of volleyball against some other kids that just randomly showed up, but me and Ginny stayed out of it. I much prefer swimming. Well, at least I did today. I vaguely remember Hermione stomping off and saying something about going to read because no one was paying any attention to her. Now that I think about it, I didn't see too much of her after that, at least not until we got back to the house. We went out to dinner at this…place. We'll call it a restaurant, but I'm still debating that fact. It was FIRCKIN' SCARY in there. Snape seemed to fit in well enough. Apparently he knows the owner, Joey. Personally, I think Joey's a little shady. OMG! I'm the only person in the room. And Draco's diary is…..right there. BRB. Holy shit! Draco's got a crush on Hermione! How…unexpected.

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

Woke up pretty early and did the beach thing again. I'm _finally_ gonna be tan at the rate I'm going. Huzzah! Me and Ginny built a pretty sweet sand castle before Harry hijacked her. Everyone else was already in the midst of a volleyball game, so I wasn't about to jump in. I just grabbed a book and read under Draco's umbrella (because it provided the most shade on the beach). I was halfway through _Sense and Sensibility_ when Draco showed up. I wasn't too pleased, especially since he just sat down and didn't say anything. We had a short conversation, but my brain's blocking what was actually said. DID I SAY SOMETHIG INCRININATING? I hope not. I have this awkward feeling that I was staring at his tattoo every time he talked. Shit. All of this would seem pretty paranoid and circumstantial….if he hadn't kissed me. HE KISSED ME! And then he just walked away. What the hell does that mean? Was I supposed to follow him? Was I supposed to go back to reading? Was I supposed to profess undying love?...okay maybe not that….Goodnight.

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

So basically today was just another day at the beach. Only thing different today was a few games of volleyball. Well, that and my Pureblood lips kissed a Mudblood today. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Well, I know what I was thinking…ANYWAY, she totally loved it. Honestly, who can resist _me_ (when you're all that, you're all that). We went to Uncle Joey's for dinner. He made my steak thick and bloody like he always does. That's why Joey's the best. It also doesn't hurt that he kind of creeps out the Lion Cubs. I'm pretty sure it's the whole one eye thing. Granger didn't even look at me over dinner, but I bet you anything, she'll be looking at me in the morning.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

Beach again. The owner of the seafood shop only has one eye. Bump, st, spike, I love volleyball! Leroy was definitely not in the water today. I think I'm gonna go to bed it's been a pretty long day.

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MVP of the beach volleyball tournament, yeah that's right! WOOT!

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Beach volleyball (Bitchin')

Luna and Ginny during the game (Bitchy)

Waves (Killer awesome today)

Steak and Seafood (Great idea)

Joey (Not so great idea)

Harry (Just gave me TERRIBLE news)

Draco (Must die)

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

Well, here I am again. Please don't eat me diary. I'm going to attempt to write more than two sentences. Me and Hermione built a sandcastle. Harry's really attractive when he's swimming. He's got that much going for him. We ate dinner at a creepy restaurant, but the food was okay. And I don't think I can write much more before freaking out, so…BYE!


	6. Wednesday

_**Snape**_

Dear Diary,

Unfortunately, I was unable to keep it from the delinquents who are currently residing at my home that there was a neighborhood barbeque taking place this afternoon. EPIC FAIL on my part. Even Draco, who I expected to side with me, in favor of staying inside, even if I didn't watch _Passions_, was just as keen as the others to push me outside. Spending all his time with a bunch of Gryffindors and one particularly manic Ravenclaw must really be starting to effect his higher brain function. Either way, I donned Muggle garb and was forced from my home, (If it wasn't so undignified, I would have been kicking and screaming.) If I wasn't sure that Dumbledore expected them all in one piece when he comes to collect them tomorrow, I probably would have jinxed them into oblivion days ago. I, Severus Snape, the Potions Master was asked to brew barbeque sauce. _Do I look like a cook?_ Apparently I won some sort of contest and was awarded with a flower lei and a dozen bottles of undoubtedly generic barbeque sauce. Don't worry, I promptly handed the lei to Miss Lovegood…..who I have not seen since…..hmmm… Well, I'm very glad I left after my barbeque victory, because the next form of idiotic entertainment was to be a watermelon seed spitting contest. Quite undignified. Nobody but Potter notice me leaving, and even he seemed like he didn't care (which is unusual for that nosy brat). I watched my remaining soaps in relative peace until Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger and Draco burst through the door shouting at eachother like baboons. I went upstairs, locked my bedroom door and charmed it so no noise can penetrate it. TAKE THAT! It may turn out to be a rather nice evening after all.

_**Harry**_

Dear Diary,

Dude, I'm_ totally_ a fan of the neighborhood barbeque from here on out. Today may even have beaten out the past few days on the beach….well….maybe not…but, the look on Snape's face when he won the barbeque sauce contest was absolutely PRICELESS. He looked sorta like that troll we suspected him of letting into Hogwarts, right after we bonked it on the head of course. Personally, I also thought the lei was an improvement, but, you can only do so much. The poor git copped out right after that- probably couldn't stand the sheer amount of happiness in one place. Anyway, it didn't come as a big surprise that everyone but Hermione and Draco were planning on entering the watermelon seed spitting contest. Draco watched us from the farthest possible picnic table, loathe to be associated with us, as per usual. It took some doing, but we managed to convince Hermione to give it a try. She was right- she's terrible. Luna and Ginny weren't half bad, but they both managed to get disqualified (I think it was probably because they were giggling too much). Neville was not nearly as bad as Hermione, but I think he swallowed about a hundred seeds. My best seed went just under 11 meters, but that was nothing compared to Ron's 16. He tied with some kid named Tommy from down the road, but once they battled it out, Ron was clearly the winner. I completely lost track of Ginny, Luna and Hermione after that, but Ron, Neville and I stuck around to play badminton (we made Neville and that kid Tommy team up). Ron left, at a run, I might add, halfway through our second game. He JUST NOW explained to me that he needed to talk to Hermione. What I don't get is why he remembered it in the middle of our game…and why he never came back. Neville and I stayed til nearly dark (we took it upon ourselves to apologize to each of the guests for having to deal with Snape as a neighbor). I couldn't find Draco before we left, and he wasn't at the house when we got back, either. Where is everyone disappearing to today?

_**Hermione**_

Dear Diary,

So….there was this barbeque. But, that wasn't really the highlight of my day, well, I mean…it was…but, oh bother, let me start over. We all (including Snapey) walked down the road to the community park where the barbeque was being held early in the afternoon. The first event was a barbeque sauce contest that Snape somehow managed to win. Granted, he is the _Potions Master_ but I didn't think his expertise extended to the culinary arts. Apparently, it does. Next up was a thoroughly bothersome seed spitting contest. I tried to avoid it, but Harry and Ginny made me do it. I warned them…one of my seeds actually went _backwards_! HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT BAD? Ron won, which doesn't surprise me; that boy is full of quirky useless talents. Plus, I'm beginning to think he's a little bit jealous of Draco. I wouldn't believe it if he hadn't practically shouted it at me for an hour today. I was sitting at one of the picnic tables talking to Draco…well, we were trying. It was kind of awkward and REALLY tense….but anyway, Ron comes bounding out of the bushes hollering at Draco, and unless I am mistaken, he used the term_ pure-blood bitch._ Sometimes I think Ron forgets he's a Pureblood, too. When we made it back to the house, we were arguing so loud that Snape literally ran away. Draco and I waited for Ron to tire himself out before we went for a walk along the beach. He gave me this absolutely gorgeous necklace: a crescent moon and stars. You know, he can be really nice….when he's not being a complete ass.

_**Draco**_

Dear Diary,

Merlin, I love BARBEQUE…..and Mudbloods? But we'll ignore that for now, I'll deal with that in therapy. I figured, since all the idiots were going to the barbeque, it was necessary for Snape and I to drag ourselves down, in order to make the party interesting. I managed to convince him to come- I even got him to make his famous dragon's blood sauce. I guess it's not famous, only about 3 people know he can cook, but it's still good. He even won the stupid contest. He left right after though, he doesn't do so well with all the attention. But- speaking of contests, I almost had Granger alone during that idiotic watermelon contest, but her little friends convinced her to participate. Foiled again. Not gonna lie, she was beyond terrible. I didn't pay enough attention to figure out who'd won, but as soon as the thing was over she came and found me anyway (I told you, I'm_ irresistible)._ We had an extensive, awkward conversation that I don't wish to recount (it CAN be used against me in a court of law). It was going…..okay…..until Weasley so rudely interrupted by jumping out of the bushes and yelling something about slimy, mangy gits. I know he couldn't possibly have been talking about me; Hermione maybe…. Anyway, the three of us screamed at eachother all the way back to Snape's, but I'm still under the impression that Weasley is the only one who actually knew what we were arguing about. He stomped about the house for a while before slamming some doors and announcing rather loudly that he was GOING TO BED! Granger and I took this to mean we were now allowed to go for a walk. It was almost dark when we left the house, so we must have spent about three hours walking along the beach- it was nearly midnight when we got back. I gave her that stupid necklace, now she's probably in love with me. I'm glad they're getting the hell out of here tomorrow. I can't deny I like her, but I can almost feel my blood getting dirtier the more time I spend with her.

_**Neville**_

Dear Diary,

I swallowed some seeds. But I can spit better than Hermione. Snape can make good barbeque sauce so his neighbors gave him flowers- yeah, I don't really understand it either. We lost all the girls so we went to play badminton. They made me play with Tommy. Ron ran away. We still haven't found any of the girls.

_**Luna**_

Dear Diary,

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I has Snape's flower lei!...and me and Ginny are being very sneaky!

_**Ron**_

Dear Diary,

Snape (makes awesome BBQ?)

Flower lei (is the prize for good BBQ?)

Snape + lei (ROFLCOPTER)

Watermelon seeds (no match for me)

Neville and Hermione (no match for watermelon seeds)

Hermione and Draco (pissing me off)

Draco (still isn't dead)

Ginny and Luna (MIA?)

_**Ginny**_

Dear Diary,

We went to a barbeque. Snape won a contest. Luna and I got disqualified from the seed spitting contest. SHUT UP YOU STUPID DIARY! Luna came up with a genius plan. Everyone will love it; it's a hundred times better than the bows from earlier this week. I SAID SHUT UP! I won't say anymore yet, but we'll definitely be leaving Snape's with a bang of sorts tomorrow. Goodnight, stupid book…


End file.
